Good Parenting

As parents we are often not the best people to make a judgement on our own children’s state of mind. It can be difficult for us to objectively analyse their behaviour. If they come home from school and they are withdrawn and unhappy, are they being bullied or are they just finding school work challenging? This article aims to identify signs that your child may be being bullied, and offers advice as to what to do if your child is being bullied.

There are many signs that your child may be being bullied. A more than usual reluctance to go to school, an unwillingness to discuss their school day, or bags and pens etc going missing are just a few. It is normal for parents’ feelings of inadequacy at a time like this to translate into feelings of irritation with their child’s inability to communicate what is bothering them effectively. Try and avoid this; it will only cause your child more stress. Encourage your child to talk to you, make sure that you listen; do not project what you want to hear onto your child’s responses. Encourage, but also wait for your child to speak to you. It is worth remembering that all problems are relative; your child’s problems loom as large for them as any problems you may have in your life.

When your child does open up to you, make sure you give a measured response. Entirely emotional responses are the territory of the child not the adult. The main question you have to ask your self is; should you get involved, or should you let your child solve the problem for itself? This will depend on the nature and seriousness of the bullying. Older readers may feel that these are battles that children should fight themselves, but given the multi facetted nature of modern bullying an adult response is often called for.

In short, if your child seems unhappy at school, or in other peer associated scenarios then a visit to the relevant adult is probably the best way forward. Some may feel that this will embarrass your child; but an embarrassed child is preferable to a damaged child.