Good Parenting

Dealing with defiant child behavior takes patience and consistency. Children are very different from each other and their parents have to adapt themselves and try to understand them. Actually, defiant child behavior is a direct consequence to their parents’ behavior toward them. Defiant kids are pushing your buttons because your rules are not clear enough for them. They need to understand them in order to accept them and change their behavior.

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Let’s learn how to make your child understand which behavior is acceptable and which one isnÂ’t.

1. Always apply right away a negative consequence to a bad behavior and a positive consequence to a good behavior. Parents tend to forget to reward their child’s good behavior but if it takes an effort to your child and therefore has to be rewarded. Also, it’s a great way to make your child choose to have a good behavior. He’ll notice he can have a much nicer life by acting in a good way.

2. Give the choice to your child. Don’t say “put this on” or “do this right now”. Don’t give orders, give choices. “The white shirt or the blue one”. Stick to the choices you give. Repeat yourself if necessary.

3. Staying calm and firm is extremely important. Your outbursts will only worsen the situation.

4. Be consistent and your child will notice you never give in and that he’ll never get what he wants by insisting or being defiant or annoying.

What your child needs is a structure. Often, defiant child behavior comes from an Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) which requires more than just a slight change in your own parenting attitude. Don’t be afraid with such words. It’s a label but kids are different and can’t be labelled. Therefore, to prevent such behavior from being carried into adulthood by your child, the structure has to be settled as early as possible. Within the limits you set up, and if they are understood by your child, he’ll grow up with values such as respect and will be able to handle problems.

In order to stop defiant child behavior permanently, many parents choose to apply a parenting method that help them by providing a guideline they can stick to and full support. This is basically what many families lack but it’s never to late to act upon the situation and make that change happen.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, January 30th, 2010 at 9:01 pm and is filed under Good Parenting.