Good Parenting

Many parents are alarmed when the experts advocate tough love as they think of it as a rather cruel and tough treatment and the NIH have noted that ‘get tough treatments do not work’.

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Some parents worry that this type of discipline is maybe bordering on child neglect and child abuse. Here are some guidelines for tough love or positive parenting or assertive parenting or whatever you like to call it!

Love and discipline go hand in hand! That means simply being able to apply the rules while still showing you love your child. You can show that love in many different ways. Learn to empathise and bond too. But everyone knows the bottom line and that can be firmly and fairly applied. The main thing is not to change the goal posts!

Who can tell me how to set the boundaries? Most behavior modification technique programs can really tell you what to do to set routines, establish rules for homework, curfews, limits of verbal abuse and so on. There is nothing cruel about tough love provided you can still show love and affection to your child.

Imagine being able to set the limits without having to shout! This is just what a child behavior program will tell you what to do and how to react to violence, abuse, aggression and hostility and generally defiant behavior.

Your child knows the limits and the consequences. This is another key in positive parenting – just like living in a family is rather like living in society. We know the rules and we know the consequences when and if we break them. Living in a family should be no different and positive parenting can be the answer to letting the child know he is loved but he has rights and responsibilities too.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 at 4:11 pm and is filed under Good Parenting.