Good Parenting

How do you know if you parent from guilt?

Do you feel badly after you’ve made decisions?

For example, “Well, I told the kids I would take them to the park and I didn’t. I will take them tomorrow.” Then what happens is it usually turns into a conversation like, “I am such a bad mom.”

This is a very quite conversation in the background.

So then when they ask for something that you don’t want to give them, you give in because you just wanted to make up for not doing what you said you would do.

That is parenting out of guilt.

All of this occurred because you did not take them to the park.

Do you see how insane we can make ourselves? Have you said or heard parents say, “My kids are driving me crazy.” The truth is, we make ourselves crazy by what we make things mean.

Here are some suggestions to help stop parenting out of guilt:

· Be honest with your kids when you make a mistake and don’t follow through.

· Apologize and recommit.

This will take away all of that guilt. For example, “Mommy said she was going to take you to the park. I am sorry
that we didn’t go. I will take you to the park tomorrow.” Now you might think that my kids are too small and they don’t understand apologizing to them. One, they are not too small and two, who cares. You are doing it for you. The kids are not feeling guilty. You are. Believe me; you are creating a precedent where they will not hesitate to do the same with you.

· Share with someone when these feelings of guilt come up. Sharing with someone who you feel safe with releases any tie to it (on a subconscious level) and sets you free.

· Accept yourself exactly how you are. You are an incredible parent. I know this just because of the simple fact that you are reading this article.