Good Parenting

Disciplining teenagers is a thorny subject. Some parents try to rule with a heavy hand, then become confused and angry when their teens go off the rails. Others feel afraid to ‘face up’ to their teen’s intimidating behavior.
 
So what does disciplining teenagers mean? The dictionary describes the verb ‘to discipline’ as to punish, to rebuke and so on. But also: to educate, to train.
 
That’s much more positive. Especially when you remember that you can’t really make your teen do anything? Face this fact.
 
So what next? Do you live life according to their dictates?
 
Definitely not! Disciplining teenagers  effectively means educating and training them. How do you do that?
Start early! But it’s never too late.
 
Tips for disciplining teenagers
 
Start by modeling the behaviors and attitudes you want them to have.
 

• In other words: give a good example! This cannot be over-emphasized. Children – even teenagers – are impressionable and they absorb the behaviors they see around them.
  
   
• Show them respect at all times. Greet them every time you or they come home. Say goodbye with a cheery smile when they go out.
  
   
• Never be afraid to demonstrate feelings of love and affection. It’s a sad fact that many of us have to work on this. . .
  
   
• Be patient with their faults – and don’t sweat the small stuff. You may be irritated by things they do or say, but if it’s ‘small stuff’, remember that they will be just as irritated by yours!
  
   
• Use praise wisely. This may come as a surprise, but a ‘blanket’ use of praise is insincere – and kids know it. Praise them for a job well done. Be highly specific. Let them know what it is you are praising them for.

If you make these qualities the hallmark of your parenting, guess what? Your kids will respond and disciplining teenagers will not be an issue for you.
 
Even if there are times when you have to be forceful and assertive – remember, you can’t make them do things – but you can make demands. For example, you can say ‘Look, I treat you with respect, don’t I? You know that. So I’m entitled to respect from you. That’s fair, isn’t it?’
 
If you want to take this further and learn lots of strategies to help you in your task of disciplining teenagers, then there are some excellent online programs that will both train and support you in this task. – Especially if you feel you have an out of control teen.
 
Disciplining teenagers need not be an endless round of confrontation and tears.