Good Parenting

Your child has already been using the potty for while, but they have started having accidents nearly every day for almost a week. Although reminders to your child have been a constant, they constantly tell you that they do not need to go. Unfortunately, this declaration is often followed by an accident no more than 10 minutes later.

As with many things in life, it is fairly normal for children to take two steps forward and one step back when potty training. This can happen for several reasons:

1. A change, however subtle, in an otherwise fixed routine or schedule. This can be related to parents work or siblings at school.

2. Something has affected their emotions. Bad dreams, parental conflict, or distress in the household can all be causes.

3. Too absorbed in the exciting activities of their day. Children’s play is their work and they don’t want to stop.

4. They might be stressed by upheaval or significant change in the family structure. A new baby, divorce, or even a houseguest.

5. They have a bladder infection. This can be particularly true for girls.

Overreacting to an accident with exasperation (You did it AGAIN?), angry disposition (You are a big girl now, what is the matter with you?), humiliating punishments (I am going to put you back in diapers!) will only upset your child further and prompt additional accidents instead of eliminating them.

Although it may go against the nature of your frustration, try to remain calm, clinical, and reassuring. (“Oh, you didn’t make it to the bathroom? Here are some dry clothes, I am sure you will make it next time.”) Responding positively by telling the child accidents happen to everyone and that next time it will happen in the potty fosters a feeling that self correction is acceptable, nobody is perfect, and we will all try harder.

Additionally, try to evaluate your child’s fluid intake; self reflect about stress levels in the household; keep the bathwater pure without bubbles as this promotes urinary tract irritations; and be a constant cheerleader so the accidents don’t create a major blow to the child’s self esteem.

Children in general will say no when asked if they need to use the restroom, so make potty stops a routine that is non- negotiable. Make it a rule. We cannot do X, Y, or Z until you have gone to the bathroom. If the entire family makes it a habit together (including DAD!), the child will not feel alone and compliance is no longer an issue.

Most of all, stick with it! Potty training is a process, not an event.