Good Parenting

Imagine you are having a relaxing, fun lunch with a friend and you overhear a mother in the next booth say, “My son was so naughty, I had to discipline him.” What pops into your head? Wouldn’t you immediately think that mom gave her child a time-out, sent him to his room, spanked him, took away some sort of privilege, or punished him in some way?

Why would a parent would take those actions. It seems obvious to many, a parent has to “punish” when a child disobeys or does something wrong. After all, mom needs to exert control to make her behave better.

WHAT IS GOAL OF DISCIPLINE?

People often think the purpose of discipline is to get children to obey. That can easily be done with threats, punishment or rewards. These manipulations to get children to do what you want, will work in the short run. The problem is these methods will not teach children how to think for themselves, make wise decisions, be independent, do the right thing, or even how to have a good life.

To truly alter behavior, you need more than a child submitting to your will. You need to have a child be committed to a particular action because they see the value in it (even when they are not thrilled about it). Do you trudge though the snow carrying the garbage to the trash barrel, or brush your teeth because it’s the highlight of your day? Uhhh . . I don’t think so. You do it because you have learned it’s a necessary part of a quality life.

THE REAL REASON TO DISCIPLINE A CHILD

The reason to correct our children is to help them learn a better way to behave so they can have a fulfilling, happy, and successful life they love.

That means discipline, for a parent is really teaching. When your goal is to have your little one develop life long, positive skills, you will more naturally be able to be firm but kind.

WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TEACH

The best way to teach is with great love, sensitivity and wisdom. That’s why one of the first steps to effective discipline is to build a Secure Bond with your child.

If your youngster trusts that you love and care for her, and she believes, deep in her heart, that you are committed to doing what is best for her, she is much more likely to listen to you and follow your advice.

When you have a Secure Bond, it is easier to know how to discipline with love. Also, if you have that Secure Bond, you are much more likely to give discipline with love.