Good Parenting

Five common misconceptions of first-time parents.

#1 Feeding/Crying challenges

A lot of confusion and anxious moments arise around feeding and crying. Babies do cry a lot but usually in short bursts. The meaning of the crying can be difficult to determine. New parents often feel there is something wrong with the baby when they are making this noise. Not all cries are created equal so one has to be a patient calm observer of different cries and the circumstances when it is happening. During the first few months responding quickly but calmly to your child’s cry is helpful. Although the cry may be their initial form of communication, the infants are very astute observers of their environment and their parents. You cannot spoil them by giving them appropriate attention. Breastfeeding when they want will be the cue you follow. Breastfeeding can be adequate for many months. Many parents incorrectly feel that breast milk is not nutritionally adequate after a period of time. Breastfed babies and their moms can sleep through the night if they develop the calm responsive relationship from the beginning. The infants are like little sponges picking up on every aspect of their environment especially tension, noise and anxiety. If circumstances do not allow for breastfeeding, the parent’s relationship and communication with the infant is the important aspect that conveys comfort and security.

#2 Fevers

Newborns and infants up to 3 months old should not have a fever. A rectal temperature in excess of 100.4 should be reason for some concern. If associated with prolonged irritability, change in behavior like not sleeping through the night when they previously were, or onset of new rash, consult your health care provider. The exception to this would be recent immunization. Newborns and young infants have immature immune systems that are vulnerable to some otherwise benign infections. So don’t ignore these situations during early infancy without consulting someone other than a neighbor or relative. A phone call to your health care provider can provide you with confidence or catch an important problem when it is most easily treated. Consider the source of your advice. The American Academy of Pediatrics and the Center for Disease Control can be good online sources for reference.

#3 Oral hygiene

Very little attention is given to baby’s mouth in the beginning. The attitude is they don’t have teeth so nothing is going on there. Introducing the toothbrush by one year old is a good idea. Using wet gauze to wipe baby’s gums can be good initial hygiene. Most parents don’t consider oral health till it’s too late. Don’t give your infant milk in bed once the teeth have erupted and start to show through the gums. This habit should be avoided to prevent cavities. Fluoride helps build strong teeth that are resistant to decay. Most urban water systems have fluoride in the water supply. If you live with well water, consult your dentist or health care provider about Fluoride supplements.

#4 Car Seats

Getting a new car seat in the proper size is very important. We all travel a lot with our infants. Properly fitted and securely installed car seats save lives. Don’t buy a used one as you don’t know how it has been treated and actually how durable it may be. Don’t accept a larger one if it does not fit your child properly. Programs are available in many communities to subsidize the cost of a properly designed correctly sized car seat for your infant. Be sure you understand how to install it correctly. The store where it has been purchased or your fire station can provide instruction in properly securing the seat in your vehicle. You and your baby will be more comfortable and safe!

#5 Remain calm

Being a new parent can be stressful. But you don’t have to be consumed by your anxiety. Babies are very aware of how they are being treated and their environment, even if their communication skills seem rudimentary. Parents or the extended members of the household should share in both the responsibilities and the joyful activities with the baby. It’s easy to waste a great deal of time obsessing on small unimportant details. On the other hand a lot of things happen and evolve during the first year of life perhaps more than any other time. Being able to meet your child’s needs while modeling appropriate behavior for your child is as important as enjoying the first year with your new family member. You and the baby need to get off to a good start on which you will be able to build for many years.