Anger is a Signal of an Inability to Solve Problems Posted By : Shelley Ewing Brownfield
August 16th, 2008We all experience anger in our families. I am sure we all wish there was less of it. Anger can be healthy in the sense that it signals to us that something is really wrong in a situation and a problem needs to be solved.
Righteous Anger
When anger occurs righteously it comes from God and is obviously a productive emotion. We can think back to Jesus getting angry at the money changers for an example of this.
Most of the time though, we can admit that the anger in our family is from sinful roots. Fear, jealousy and selfishness all contribute to our anger. It really comes down to anger being a signal that we don’t know how to solve our problem.
What is the Problem?
If we get angry at our child for something, the real issue is that deep down we do not have an appropriate solution to get the child to stop doing whatever he is doing. If we knew exactly how to solve the problem of the misbehavior, then we probably would not feel angry and exhibit angry behaviors.
How often have you seen a child throw a temper tantrum over math? This is one of the easiest and clearest examples about how anger problems are really just an inability to solve a problem.
Take Action
Next time you feel anger, ask yourself, “What is the root problem?” As soon as you define the problem, it is easier to realize that your energy is best used to find a solution to that problem. Sometimes just knowing that you can work to find a solution diffuses the angry emotions.
Take some time to analyze your anger and that of your family. See if you can find the root. What problem is it that the angry person can’t solve?
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