Good Parenting

Just when you think your child is finally old enough to spend some time playing with friends without your constant supervision, can fix their own snacks and can entertain themselves- it’s time to get even more involved in their lives! You thought you could go back to relaxing a little , watching adult TV shows , and having adult only conversation.. Forget it. It’s time to coach , attend performances, bus kids to activities and host sleepovers!!

The tween years, 8 to 12, can be smooth sailing for many kids , with 13 being a jump into the rough teenage moody years. For other kids, especially girls, the tween years can be the rocky beginning of the tumultuous teens. Either way a parent must be prepared for the teen years when kids crave independence and control of their lives and yet have displays of behavior that prove their immaturity. How can a parent best prepare for the bumpy teen years? The answer is to insure a close relationship in the tween years. If a tween enjoys and respects their parent, setting rules and getting compliance from a teen will be much easier.

Here are a few tips to help bond the parent and child relationship during the tween years

Ensure your tween has an opportunity to find activities besides school work and home leisure that are challenging and fun. The possibilities are numerous; sports, music, art, science , volunteer organizations, civic clubs etc. Make sure they try a variety until they settle on a few favorites. As a parent you must ensure they follow through with the commitment they make and most importantly you must get involved in helping to support the activity. The involvement can be simply attending performances, or keeping records, or running the whole show if you are so inclined. Your tween will be thrilled you are there and you will have lots to discuss at the dinner table.

Schedule daily time to talk to your tween. Ideally this is a meal time but could be bedtime or right after school. Your work schedule may dictate this time, but it needs to be every day. It needs to be a relaxed, non-rushed period when the two of you can just chat about life or problems or anything really. The point is to let the kid know you are available and you care.

Get to know your tweens friends and their parents. Allow the friends to be at your home frequently and include them in activities and fun. Your tween will want to stay at their homes and you want to know that environment is a safe and supervised home. Again, you are showing your kid that you care enough to get involved in their lives.

So, keep your tween busy in healthy activities, be a part of these activities and be available to listen and chat. Build a strong bond before you head into the teens years, the ride will be less bumpy.