Good Parenting

Are you worried about your child’s tantrums? What can you do when you’ve tried everything? Inside you’ll find some tips to boost your parenting skills with difficult children.

Pretend You Have This Parenting Problem:

Your son is three years old and has a terrible temper. He simply does not listen to any thing you tell him to do and blatantly ignores anything you ask him to do. If you tell him not to do something he ignores you as well. You have tried everything from gentle persuasion, to bribing him, sending him to his room, taking his favorite toys from him, etc. but nothing seems to help.

You are afraid he will be labeled with behavioral problems when he goes to school.

If you’re the parent of a child who throws temper tantrums, please don’t think of him as a behavior problem. Do think of his behavior as a challenge for you to solve. Why? You are the parent.

Parenting Tips ~ Children Misbehave and Have Tantrums for These 4 Reasons:

Power ~ they want to get their way
Revenge ~ they want to get back at you for something
Attention ~ they want to be noticed
Helplessness ~ they want you to do things for them they can easily do themselves

As a parent, you’re task is to figure out why your child is having tantrums. This will guide you in the actions you take.

2 Important Parenting Questions for Dealing with Tantrums:

What positive benefit is my child gaining by his behavior?

Think about it. Talk it over with your spouse, a friend you trust, or a child counselor.

Then ask yourself:

How can he get his positive benefit without behaving badly?

The answers to these two questions should give you some ideas on the action to take. Perhaps you’ll use time out, take away a privilege, ignore him, or bond with him lovingly when he isn’t exploding. Whatever you choose to do, be consistent.

Example of a Tantrum Problem:

Let’s say you tell your child, “Put your toys away. We’re going to eat dinner soon.” He yells, “No, I don’t want dinner.” He starts screaming and throwing his toys instead of putting them away. What does he want? Is it power, revenge, attention, helplessness or a combination?

If his tantrums are frequent, you’re the best person to answer what he really wants. This is your challenge. No one knows and understands him better than you. This is also your opportunity to teach the kind of discipline that sets him free from his tantrum behavior.

Temper Tantrum Summary:

When you ask yourself the two questions above, don’t forget to take action with kindness and firmness. When you understand your child and make good choices you’ll be building character too.